Have you ever played with a water snake wigglie? OK, so I didn’t know what to call it either until I did an Internet search. It is a plastic tube filled with liquid that folds in on itself. That means that the more you squeeze it, the more it squirts away from you. The only way to hold it, is to hold it lightly, not tightly. In considering risk this past week, part of the conversation turned to the way we hold on to things. For instance, if we hold on too tightly to “being right” we never risk new ways that might “be wrong.” If we hold on to a doctrine tightly it becomes dogma and turns from a tool to a weapon. In his song, Hold On to These Things, Troy reminded us that if we hold on too tightly we no longer hold the thing for God but hold it for ourselves. But if we treat more of our beliefs like they are water snake wigglies, then we might understand that the true risk comes when our grasp on it is too swift and strong. It takes an open hand to risk holding a new idea. The risk is that the idea may be wrong, but if we hold it too tightly then we never have the chance to determine one way or another. That takes us back to the preceding step in the creative process, hovering. We need to spend some time contemplating before acting. While moving from hovering to risk is always dangerous, if done properly it is not reckless. The move needs to be intentional and controlled, but there has to be motion. The fun of a water snake wigglie is in trying to squeeze it just right so that the movement begins but doesn’t escalate beyond your ability to keep up with it.
Of course, sometimes risks are so big and bold that there is an accompanying avalanche of change that cannot be stopped. It was just such a brave move that I considered when doing an exercise from [amazon_link id=”1557258716″ target=”_blank” container=”” container_class=”” ]Drawn In: A Creative Process for Artists, Activists, and Jesus Followers[/amazon_link]
Here is the exercise:

The person I thought of was the amazingly talented singer/songwriter, friend of Darkwood Brew Namoli Brennet. She had just given a splendid performance at our church a week before and as part of the concert she shared the story of her transition from male to female while she was a music director in a church. While the locals were supportive, the denomination objected and she had to leave. The very public nature of a transgender transition requires a bravery I can’t begin to imagine. Every day would bring new risks and certain challenges. Any fear I have over risks that I am considering pales in comparison. It was from that place that the prayer that was shared both in our worship and on Darkwood Brew came. I will close by sharing it:
O God the risk-taker, thank you for your perfect love poured out on me, casting out my fear. But I need you to turn up the pressure. I have only put my toes in that holy water. The messiness of my fears cannot be washed away with that dabbling. Perhaps a sprinkle in the face can awaken me to let go of the fear of losing the familiarity and comfort of the known present, but I need a blast from your gracious hose if I am going to release my anxiety about how I am perceived by others and risk the criticisms that may be littered on the path to the future you dream for me. Push me off the diving board into the deep end of your eternal love where I may float sustained by you, free from all fear of any failure, because you took the risk first to create me in you image, that I might succeed when I accept the gift of being fully the human you made. Just like Jesus did. In whose name I pray. Amen.
Rev. Ian Lynch is pastor of First Congregational Church, United Church of Christ in Brimfield, MA He blogs about the intersection of spirituality and society at CultureDove.blogspot.com and the intersection of spirituality and ornithology at https://birdparables.blogspot.com
I was moved to read Ian express: “The very public nature of a transgender transition requires a bravery I can’t begin to imagine. Every day would bring new risks and certain challenges. Any fear I have over risks that I am considering pales in comparison.”
One of the most significant gifts God has given me in my own gender transition has been the security to take risks for Him…
…Once, I was a very fearful person, often afraid to step-out to do what I suspected He would have me do. I was afraid I might make a mistake, might make things worse (in others’ lives), might even sin in my effort…it often left me uneasy with myself, constantly fretting over details, possibilities, outcomes, and vain-regrets, and sometime even paralysis. It was easier (and safer) to bury my “talent” because I felt God made a mistake in giving me gifts and loving potential…
…And then He began to heal me in many ways, and one of the most important means has been through my gender journey, where we have traveled together from the beginning. Challenge-by-challenge, tear-by-tear, faith-unto-growing-faith, I would come to trust Him more, to love Him more, to face greater challenges, even several Abraham & Isaac moments…
…And in the end, I have become secure in my relationship with my dearest Abba, my Lord, my Love, who asked me if He could call me “Beloved” and “daughter.” I now know, deep, very deep in my heart, that my Daddy will help me back up when I slip and fall, and is more interested in my growing and in my loving others, and taking risks to move forward in radical ways of giving and loving and living Christlike, than in punishing my slips and failures…
AND in my risks, I have learned the joys of being loved (as well as giving love), an excruciatingly difficult lesson for me that I am still learning. AND in letting others love me, I realize the depth of Christ love for me. I am not a step-child, but a child chosen and adopted, and secure.
…God is the good parent who is pleased when their young child pulls-up to walk, and understands that the vase is at-risk of breakage when I toddle by, or explore in my curiosity. He has taught me to abandon myself: abandon my self-loathing, abandon my worrying, abandon my perfectionism, abandon myself to His outcomes whatever they may be, and abandon myself to being loved…
Abandon yourself to God (who has your back), and when in doubt, do the kind thing.
By God’s grace, I am a married Christian woman of transsexual experience.
Blessings on you Brettany and thank you for your kind words.
Thank You {very small voice}